Nuffnang

21 July 2015

5 seconds of eternity

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dear self,
a day is a day to live.
journey into life,
and follow through it till the sun rises again.

14 June 2015

lately,

IMG_8573exactly my sentiment – voids.

19 April 2015

commencement

Commencement; reminiscence yesteryears & for the unlimited ahead.

This ceremony calls for greater independence in life from today onwards.

We will probably end up doing the usual things: either we follow the norm or we let go of our notions of “how things should be” and do what we want to without compromising our morals. I hope in many years to come, I will still be reminded of the latter.

Now, what and where next?

“The world is your oyster.”

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18 April 2015

grad ecstasy

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Lots to say but my post-graduation-ecstasy has clouded my ability to elaborate or do anything except thinking that it was awesome.

Still very grateful for the little things, especially all the overwhelming congratulatory messages that come in all forms. I can’t thank you enough be it for your virtual or physical presence on this day to share this moment of joy and pride.

To my parents, friends, housemates and lecturers who had to tolerate my incessant ‘will I ever make it to graduation on time?’ days, I thank you.

In the meantime, I shall watch my euphoria evaporate into coming up with an album of graduation shots full of laughters and joy in which some of us may have found our hidden talent for acting/throwing mortar board/posing for the best smile.

Officially graduated and onto the next phase of life. Thank you to everyone I get to share this five years worth of journey with.

28 March 2015

delicate balance

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Is it normal to feel uncomfortable when life throws you onto the side trail when you were heading in a straight line?

I’d like to believe it is absolutely normal to feel so, uneasy. And I hope I would be able to find my balance in this new direction called changes.

01 March 2015

home drizzle

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standing here,
woken by thinking about crossing the daunting emptiness of space,
i lie beneath the weight of night and the rattling raindrops,
absorbing the flickering light that slowly fades off,
and watch our breath condense into clouds.

//leaving home has never been an easy task//

01 February 2015

anticipation

this month sees me beaming with much happiness as I anticipate the thought of returning home.

will be working for another two weeks and hola Kuching soil. and yes, that means I’m taking half month off – oh my much needed break.

see you soon, my beloved city!

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01 January 2015

2014-ending

2014 is a transitional year for many aspect of my life – from finally packing my bags to return home with much joy and excitement to packing and leaving my comfort zone again.

As 2014 sees my graduation, I am constantly reminded that it is my own effort to remain grateful despite dents and pebbles on the journey that we so often get.

This year was also about making sense of new discoveries, changes and adjusting to transitional period while being humbled in the process.

I’m not expecting anything less inconcrete this year but here's to another amazing year of great adventure of chasing our untried dreams and most importantly, not letting the negativity clouds the happy stuff.

And if there is one resolution to follow, it would be to walk with faith and know that He is in control of everything in life.

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Happy New Year!

01 December 2014

all glory to Him

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I'm thankful for the wait.

Thank you for making me learn to wait upon your greatness with patience, and to look beyond the water.

15 November 2014

counting stars

“Don’t count your losses,
count your blessings.”

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08 November 2014

oh the places you will go

you have feet in your shoes.
you can steer yourself any direction you choose.
you are the one who will decide where to go.

“you are on your own.”

Thank you Dr. Seuss; now start walking, sprinting, and flying.
anywhere but being still.

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02 November 2014

the wait.

(continuing this post from the transition)

Transition was not an easy phase to begin with, what more to say to wait? So when I have finally hurdled through the transition phase and slowly settled down, which took up a gigantic part of my time piecing every jigsaw pieces, I found myself stepping into the waiting stage. 

the wait.

On several occasions, I have to wait or was made to wait. The entire process where one is made a ball being pass on from one party to another is frustrating. Some days, my journey begins with bright blue sky but I would return home feeling gloomy and dejected. I experienced a suspended swing ride of emotions. This dragged on for a month and I was (almost) burnt out. 

But like all things in life, beautiful things come to those who wait with patience. A week ago, I stumbled across these words:

“Patience is not the ability to wait,
it is
the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”

These words struck me and for a brief moment, everything seems much clearer.

the wait.

Yesterday, I was caught in a massive traffic jam due to a major accident while I was on my way to church. It was a terrible jam where I was stuck for a good 80 minutes only to travel 200 meter.

For the first 20 minutes, I was whining and complaining about the jam:

“what?
what’s holding up the queue for 10 minutes?
oh good lord, there was no movement at all.”

I was frustrated because I was running late for church. I quickly came to my senses and reminded myself to stay positive about the situation. And I realized, while I am complaining in the car, someone out there is battling for survivor. And then, the remaining time was spent praying for the victims of the accident and road safety.

I reached church late, feeling all tensed up from the jam earlier on but was relieved to read God’s words.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on The Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Up to this very moment as I am writing this piece of story, I have not found a closure or an answer to my wait. But I am certain I will not go home a miserable girl like any other days I had for the past few weeks because I will learn to wait upon his greatness with patience. Above all, I trust that beautiful things will fall into place for those who wait with an open heart.

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01 November 2014

the transition,

If I would have told anyone that the past months were blissful, it would be a big lie; otherwise I probably was too mentally drained to story-tell the entire happening. But most of the time, I chose to avoid the topic.

Graduating from university is supposed to be a joyful event. Well, the happiness lasted for quite awhile but what follows after that was a major transition in life that happened too soon for me to grab hold of and digest.

the transition.

It was all fairytale upon studies completion in July. But the very next phase was daunting. The entire job hunting process itself evoked a range of emotions, from feeling hopeful to swallowing rejections and back again. Embraced this phase with much uncertainties, secured a job (wheew, finally!) only to experience another unexpected roller-coaster ride.

the transition.

moving in. moving in wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be because I was fortunate to be moving into my second home. Settling down should be an easy job but boy I was wrong.

I underestimated my emotional strength. Who would have knew that being away from home for five good years have not shaped a person’s mental strength well enough? All those days and nights of crying and doubting with an occasional what ifs and when.

What if I have not been stubborn on my decision?
When is my next flight home? 
When will I get to circle the dining table and have meals with everyone at home?
Will the day ever come?
How long will it take?
 

And the more I dwelled my thoughts in these longing for home and kinship, the more devastated I feel inside. Most days, I would walked through the glass door to work questioning my very initial decision to work away from home, silently weeping inside my heart.  While I was trying to put up a smile, most nights I would go to bed with tears.

I didn’t know where I was heading to, but I kept walking while convincing myself:

All iz well.
All will be well.

31 October 2014

(:

sometimes all you need to do is smile,
and everything begins to fall into place.

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05 October 2014

shelter

time like this, i was reminded of how blessed i am.

truly my pillar of strength.

pillar of strength

04 October 2014

a little bit of home

a lil bit of home

returning home these days feels like heading back to paradise.
yes, paradise.

30 September 2014

wave watching

why does it seem like time were never enough as soon as I stepped into a new phase of life called adulthood? it’s not surprising to realize how quickly time has flown.

i seemed to lost much impetus for a lot of things in life, for instance, writing.

meanwhile, let’s go to the beach for some wave watching

wave watching

31 August 2014

walking on faith

walking on faith

I think, I somehow allowed my happiness to stop at July.

The past weeks were nothing sort of easy, but it was also in those days that I learn more about humanity and life. The only constant in life is changes and I’m here to embrace changes.

To the coming months, here’s a note to self: 心有多宽,路就有多宽。

05 July 2014

my epitome of happiness

Finally getting a Miri dive trip; totally knackered, suffered a bit of rash from the tiny jellyfish bumps the next day but the dive sites in Miri are really breathtaking.

So very grateful for great sun and lovely weather, albeit choppy sea at some point.  I had three dives for the day, and particularly enjoyed the Kenyalang dive site. I was so elated to have come across the illuminating blue coloured closed anemone.

Definitely looking for the next dive trip in Miri.  

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02 July 2014

dysfunctional family

Last week in campus, blessed to have found good people in these five years. Five great years of annoyance. Three different degree majors, but we have one thing in common: being a bitch to each other.

So long genuine friends!

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